I Want to Remember......

all her little sounds

 her eyes lighting up when she sees my face

the way her eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles

the first time she realized she could kick and splash in the bathtub

and after her bath still kicking but no splash came

the frustrated cries from not being able to turn all the way over

the little hand repeatedly batting at the red butterfly on my shirt

her feet (right now) pushing against my desk as she sits on my lap

the loud sound she makes trying to sneeze again when there are no more sneezes 

 Zeke kissing her, over and over, sometimes way too much

 Kiersten running for the camera to capture these moments

Micah rocking her for hours, both of them quiet and so content

Nathan packing her into the carrier for a walk outside when she's fussy 

all of us together in our little living room as Tim reads the Bible to us

How to hold on to all the memories???  I forget so quickly.  But I want to remember.   I don't want to let these moments slip into nothingness.  Phoebe changes every day, so quickly.   But so do the rest of my children, just more subtly.  In only six days my first baby will be fifteen and truly the years have flown by.  I feel like I can't keep up.  But I want to.  I want to be present in every moment.

Nights With My Baby

She's so beautiful snuggled in the crook of my arm, eyes heavy with sleep.  Her skin is as smooth and soft as silk and I can't get enough of her.  And I cherish these nights because I know they don't last forever and before long she'll have her own bed, her own pillow.  She may still need me in the night once in awhile, seems all my children still do from time to time, but it won't be every night like clockwork and I won't wake up with her intently looking at my face.  I love it when our eyes meet and she smiles her smile that lights up her whole face.  These are priceless moments, moments I'll carry with me forever.

10 weeks old

Counting my blessings

Today's "little" things....

folded cloth napkins

warm towels in a neat stack

tea served by my sweet daughter

my dad's voice on the other end of the phone

cold water

sunshine

fresh eggs

books, oh so many books

a new journal

a funny card

toy tractors strung across my living room floor

lots of green in my garden

the t.v. hit by lightening not the computer

pine tree essential oil

new "wheat field" candle

fancy pad of paper

bills paid

bowl of beans with ham

Thomas Jefferson Wisdom

Teaching

What a blessing it is every Wednesday evening to set aside time to pray!  I love partnering with another as we focus in on God and the needs of others. True fellowship can take place, not that it always does but it can.  Last night I was blessed when that happened.  There were tears, burdens were shared and then we lifted those people, burdens, and situations up to the Father.

The short Bible study that followed was uplifting to my heart, also!  Here are a few quotes that I jotted into my journal.  I have lots of notes on the word study that we did, too, but I'll just keep it brief.   I love word studies and look forward to continuing this study on Wednesday evenings in the future.

 Everyone is a teacher. 

A teacher affects eternity. 

He can never tell where his influence stops. 

Teaching is a partnership with God, working with the Creator of the Universe!

Our lives came from our Creator.

Our liberty comes from our Creator.

It has nothing to do with government granting it.

~Ron  Paul

Spiritual Disciplines ~ Meditation

I'm currently reading about Scriptural meditation.  The author gives an interesting comparison of the life of Jonathan Edwards and the average person today.  He points out that the daily New York Times newspaper would have as much information in it as Mr. Edwards would come into contact with his entire life.  Of course, Mr. Edwards had responsibilities many of us may not have, such as the care of his horse, but he never answered a phone, checked e-mail, etc.  He had more quiet time, with less information crowding his mind, to think deep thoughts.

What to do?.....

"We can restore an order to our thinking and recapture some of the ability to concentrate - especially on Spiritual truth - through Biblical meditation."  (Spiritual Disciplines of the Christian Life by Donald Whitney)

I finished up the book Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.  I've been slowing reading a few pages at a time of this little book for a couple months.  I thoroughly enjoyed it!  It rates as another great thrift store treasure.  Last night as I was reading a couple passages really resonated with me.

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.  One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.  One moon shell is more impressive than three.  There is only one moon in the sky.  One double-sunrise is an event; six are a succession, like a week of school-days.  Gradually one discards and keeps just the perfect specimen; not necessarily a rare shell, but a perfect one of its kind.  One sets it apart by itself, ringed around by space - like the island.

For it is only framed in space that beauty blooms.  Only in space are events and objects and people unique and significant - and therefore beautiful.

In the last chapter of the book Anne discusses a subject I often mull over in my mind but never seem to be able to come to a satisfying conclusion.  I want simplicity. I want to be true to myself.  And I want deeper relationships with those close to me, versus many surface relationships.  She asks, (of course I've paraphrased above)

Is this not a limited outlook?  Of course it is, in one sense,  Today a kind of planetal point of view has burst upon  mankind.....The tensions, conflicts, and sufferings even in the outermost circle touch us all....We cannot avoid these vibrations.

My question is what do we do with these vibrations?  I cannot meet all these needs that I hear of.  Anne points out that our Grandmothers lived in a world where they could meet the urgent needs of those around them. Anne says,

My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.  I cannot marry all of them, or bear them all as children, or care for them all as I would my parents in illness or old age.....(about our Grandmothers)  We were brought up in a tradition that has now become impossible, for we have extended our circle throughout space and time.

She explains that we try to adjust and love the masses.  Sometimes we even figure out ways to "escape" from the heavy load this places on our mind.  And in trying to fix the world we may neglect the relationships closest to us, the ones in which we can really make a difference. 

Another Sunrise

II Corinthians 5:21

For he hath made him to be sin for us,

who knew no sin;

that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

I continue to strive to see myself as God sees me.  I am the righteousness of God in Jesus.

Amazing!

I am:

Redeedmed

Accepted

Empowered

Thank you, Jesus!

Today's Happy Moments

a minute with a friend

an hour with my sister and brother

eating gummy butterflies with my little boy

cup of coffee with cream

spinach and sprout salad with avodaco

a haircut

(and then she wouldn't let me pay!)

a Psalm

kisses

phone call from a friend

sprouted grain toast with butter and three citrus marmalade~yum!

pure cold glass of water

listening to the quacks

the last load of laundry in the washer

To be happy, one must be aware.

Happiness is not a thing you can cut off by the yard or measure in chunks.  It is a matter of moments when you suddenly know that this moment is special.  A few such moments are enough for a long time.  The trouble with most of us, it seems to me, is that we chase happiness so hard that when we find it, we have already rushed on looking for more.  The truly happy person is one who realizes the happiness of that moment, or that hour.  ~~ Gladys Taber

Spiritual Disciplines

"And excercise thyself rather unto godliness." I Timothy 4:7b

I'm reading, once again, Spritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney.  I first read the book two and a half years ago.  I didn't make it all the way through it then, but what I read was so worth it.  Later, I picked it up again, re-read and again benefited but did not complete the book.  Tonight all is quiet in my home and I've yet again read the first chapter.  I've been blessed once again.

God's grace simply amazes me over and over again.  To think that he continues to love me as I continue to falter and fail, never ceases to put me in awe!  All because of Jesus and his blood that covers me.

What do I want out of my life?  Am I daily moving toward that goal.  Am I the person I want to be?  Who am I?  I've been pondering these questions heavily lately.  And God has been so good to give me peace, rest and answers.  At the very top, most of all, I want to be like Jesus.

I want to journal here what I learn as I plow through the Spiritual Disciplines book.  The following quotes come from the first chapter of the book.

Tom Landry, coach of the Dallas Cowboys football team for most of three decades, said, "The job of a football coach is to make men do what they don't want to do in order to achieve what they've always wanted to be."  In much the same way, Christians are called to make themselves do something they would not naturally do--pursue the Spiritual Disciplines--in order to become what they've always wanted to be, that is, like Jesus Christ.

Discipline without direction is drudgery.  

(For me vision is key!  Vision will keep me going when I've run out of energy.  It gives hope!  Sunday's sermon was so good.  I Chronicles 4:10, "And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me!  And God granted him that which he requested.")

The Spiritual Disciples are the God-given menas we are to use in the Spirit-filled pusuit of Godliness.

(In this book he covers: Bible intake, prayer, worship, evangelism, service, stewardship, fasting, selence and solitude, journaling, and learning.  But he also mentions that there are many more such as: confession, accountablitiy, simplicity, submission, spiritual direction, celebration, affirmation, sacrifice, and "watching". )

Godly people are disciplined people.

Learning and following involve discipline, for those who only learn accidentally and follow incidentally are not true disciples.

He says of many Christians, "They have dabbled in everything but disciplined themselves in nothing.

(Ouch!!!)

I've never read anything by William Barclay but Donald Whitney quotes him as saying, "Nothing was ever achieved without discipline:.."  Barclay goes on to talk of Coleridge and says of him, "He lost himself in visions of work to be done, that always remained to be done." (This is why it is best that my life remains simple.  My mind can easily become overwhelmed and I can become almost paralyed as to what to do next.  Simplicity brings me clarity of thought and a calm that I cherish.)  Barclay also said, "No one ever reached any eminence, and no one having reached it ever maintained it, without discipline."

"Freedom and discipline have come to be regarded as mutually exclusive, when in fact freedom is not at all the oppostie, but the final reward, of discipline." ~ Elizabeth Elliot

The Two Became One

Promises

Vows

A Covenant made to God between man and woman

Hope

Love

Faith

Trust

Loyalty

Happiness

Joy

Peace

Dreams

Bittersweet moments

Tears

 Smiles

Laughter

Energy

Worship

Beauty

Friends

Family

Purity

Pride

Giving

Recieving

Protection

Grace

All wrapped into one evening that promises to last a lifetime.

God be merciful unto us, and bless us; and cause his face to shine upon us; Selah.
That thy way may be known upon earth, thy saving health among all nations.
Psalm 67:1,2

Light=Beauty

This is one of my favortie times of the day, when the first rays of sunshine make it into my living room.
I love sunshine.
I love the shadows it casts, the way it makes the ordinary, extra-ordinary.
I love the hope that it brings to my heart, the reminder that His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.

I ran outside in my bare feet to take this photo. From my back deck, the row of cedar trees were in my way. I love running in the grass in my bare feet. It makes me feel *alive*. Today, though, I soon felt *frozen*. :) Aw, well, just a good little boost for my immune system.

Today is the beginning of days of family and friends. We do our last preparations this morning and by this evening we will be basking in the fellowship of many with whom God has so blessed us! We are counting our blessing and always right there at the top is the incredible families the Lord has placed us in, the family we have created, our close church family, and the many friends we hold dear. God is good.
I love reflecting on the gift He gave us so many years ago. And also anticipating the coming of that Gift once again.

Precious

I'm so thankful for this precious little girl that the Lord has entrusted to my brother and sister-in-law. I'm counting the days until I get to hold her, breath in that baby smell, and just marvel at the goodness of God right before my eyes. Soon.....

And I still pray that the Lord will enable me to bring another life into this world. My heart has that yearning. My children are hoping. My husband and I dream.....

I'm not wasting any time pining away over what I "want". I'm so blessed with what God has already given me. A little boy who calls manger scenes "Angel barns". :) A little girl whose heart for giving is keeping her quite busy these days. An 11 year old whose gentle and quiet spirit cause me to stop and ponder. And a young man so full of ambition and life. My husband and I are counting our blessings as we all pray for more.

Shaken

My body shakes and my mind races as I stare helplessly at this poor man, bruised, bleeding, and broken. He seems so helpless. Men are so pitiful when everything is stripped away and they have nothing to lean on, they're left without all their props. I suppose they are no more in need of sympathy than a woman in the same situation but to me a man on verge of crying because of despair is almost more than my heart can bear to see.

The rain continues, slower now but still there as I stand on the side of the road with this man I've never met, his world just came crashing down around him, literally. He's taken a hard hit to some vital organs and glass is embedded across the back of his neck. There is blood, but not so much that it is of any immediate danger. It's his groans of despair that tear at my heart. And my helplessness amazes me.

And I'm reminded how fragile life is, how weak our flesh is, and how thankful I am to know what my eternity holds all because of the Son of Man who was bruised, bleeding and broken for me! I wonder if this man I'm standing with knows my Jesus. I feebly offer to pray for him and he is thankful.

Let's keep it real

Prices continue to rise but we can still keep it real. That's my goal. And I believe it to be very possible.

Local Nourishment has a great post on this, full of links to give you more ideas. It can be done! And then I want to point you to Storybook Woods who will show you how to do it with class!!! I'll be making her Roasted-Garlic Pumpkin Humus, only I don't have pumpkin. I really don't think it will be a problem. I'll just roast some squash! We all like humus, but my oldest has a love for the creamy dip! And all that garlic will be good for him as he's trying to recover from the flu.

Last night we had two large homemade pizzas that were, oh, so yummy! They only cost us $4.50. That's 75 cents a person. We might just have to implement a regular pizza night!

A new Bible verse

While putting Zeke down for his nap, he was reciting some of Bible verses for me. He recited his new one this way...."All we like sheep, have gone to the fair." :)